RIP Heart

Many many years ago, at nabanggit ko na dito sa blog na pangarap ko talaga ikasal. Yun lalakad ako habang tumutugtog yun "Only Time" ni Enya. Di naman engarbo pero basta importante makapaglakad ako sa aisle.

Dumating yun time na kinasal ako, kaso sa Civil lang. SM kasi. Pero may plano kami magchurch wedding. Sobrang excited ako, halos linggo linggo nasa Bridal Fair ako, nagpabook ng simbahan, ng reception, ng photographer, naghanap ng designs ng damit, gumawa ng online wedding page.

Pero sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, after ilang months ng kasal + LDR pa kame (oo pagkatapos ng kasal umuwi na agad sya sa province, so technically, hindi kami nagsama), nakabuntis sya. Sad thing, mas pinili nya yun girl. Naghiwalay kami. Walang Church wedding na nangyari. 2015 nabalitaan ko na he died of cardiac arrest. In short nabyuda ako in writing.

Nagkaroon ng relationships pero failed, nagkaroon ng dalawang anak, but technically wala sa kanila akong nakasama. OPO NEVER PO KO NAKIPAGLIVE IN! 

So ako yun, kinasal, nagkaanak, nabalo. PERO di ko pa talaga naranasan how to have someone na makakasama ko. Yun tipong pagising ko sa umaga andon sya. May kasama akong kakwentuhan sa gabi hanggang sa matulog. May kaagapay sa everyday activities. May kasama pag kids activities. May kasama hanggang sa pagtanda. WALA, ako lang po mag isa at mga anak ko.

Dumating yun time na nakatagpo ulit ako ng taong mamahalin. Mabait sya, responsable, yun lahat ng pangarap ko sa isang tao, andon na sa kanya. May 3 anak. Pero di naman din problema sa akin yun. Pag nagsasama kami para kaming isang basketball team. Mula sa 2 lalaking chikiting ay nagkaroon ako ng instant pre-teen na girl, college student at isang pre-school. Never sa akin naging issue yun. Excited pa nga ako dumating yun time na magkakasama kami sa iisang bubong. 

Pero ewan ko ba, ang lalim kasi ng trust issues ko, ang taas ng insecurity ko. Siguro sa trauma na maiiwan ako at ipagpapalit ako sa iba. Yun trauma na iba lagi ang pinipili over me. Nagoverthink ako ng malala. Naging makulit ako, may times na nag nanag ako. Namamagnify yun mga maliliit na bagay. 

In short, nabwisit sya sa akin.

Sabi nya, yes kami pa rin pero wag na ako mag expect ng kasal. Oo mahal ko sya and everything, tanggap ko naman if ganon ang desisyon nya, after all kami pa rin. I dont know PERO, part of me died. Gumuho yun pangarap ko. Na akala ko bago man lang ako mawala sa mundo magagrant yun wish ko para at least mabuo naman ako once and for all. Pero indi eh, kelangan kong tanggapin yun realidad na di lahat ng bagay makukuha ko. Kasama na dun yun pangarap kong makasal someday.

Masakit lang sa dibdib, malungkot....Nakakaiyak. 

Everything Happens for a Reason

Kapag nasa gitna ka ng problema, hindi mo maiiwasang magkaroon ng mga katanungan.

Nung time na yon, iniisip ko, bakit ang unfair unfair ng buhay.  Unlike sa ending ng telenobela na ang mga kontrabida ay napaparusahan at ang bida ang nagwawagi, yun totoong buhay parang bakit ang saya saya nila, napakaperpekto ng lahat. Sila itong nang-angkin ng di kanila, pinagmukha akong masama sa mata ng iba pero bakit ako lang ang naghihinagpis...

Pero napag isip isip ko, bakit ako magpapakalugmok sa kalungkutan, choice lang naman yun eh. Kung naging desisyon nilang magpakasaya, kaya ko rin gawin yun, alang alang sa sarili ko. At ganon nga ang ginawa ko.  Uminog ulit ang mundo ko at dumating ang pinakaspecial na biyaya sa buhay ko, ang aking anghel.

Lumipas ang mga taon at nangyari na ang hindi inaasahang mangyari..

Ngayon ko binalikan ang katanungan ko... kung bakit kailangan ko maranasan ang lahat ng yun.  Kailangan kong maranasan ang matinding sakit para yun ang magtulak sa akin na magmove on. At dahil sa pag move on ko binigay sa akin ang aking anghel.  Tinanggal ako sa sitwasyong iyon dahil hindi ako ang nakatakdang dumanas ng napakabigat na sakit na hamak na mas masakit sa pakikipagbreak at niloko ng asawa... Ito ang sakit ng pagpanaw ng kabiyak.

Lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ay may dahilan.  Kadalasan ay di natin matanggap at maintindihan kung bakit ito nangyayari lalo na kung ito ay labag sa ating kagustuhan at kapag tayo ay nasasaktan. Ngunit sa takdang panahon, kusang dumarating ang kasagutan kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay na yun. Para pala ihanda tayo sa mas magandang kapalaran..




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Sigh

Why is that the one who promised not make me cry is the one who made me cry the most?


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TEN WAYS TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON

TEN WAYS TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSONBy Dov Heller

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious
mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid
becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change
after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The
Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she
is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it,
"You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the
worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character,
personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure
you can live with these as they are now. It's as good as it gets!

2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry
than their character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character
keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love"
often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully
checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to
definitely check for:
· Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the
right thing" is more important than personal comfort?
· Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to
other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to
be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?
· Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what
s/he says s/he's going to do?
· Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he
enjoy life? s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to
be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this
person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common
life, goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with
another person:
(1) Chemistry and compatibility,
(2) Share common interests and
(3)Share a life goal.
Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals
provide.
After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart.
To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while
you are single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion
as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal
mate... two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's
purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper
emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional
connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This
does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a
Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes,
you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty,
determination, etc., but do you actually respect and admire this person
who possesses these qualities? Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This
also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on
him/her?

5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom
you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be
myself, and express myself with this person? Does this person make me
feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who makes you
feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same
way! (That's why best friends usually fall under this category
perfectly! But that's another story...) Are you afraid of this person
in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say
because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're
afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem
with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't
feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors
are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the lookout out for someone who
is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between
"controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your
benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

6. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the
table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought
up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way
to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work
together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably
arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you
resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of
you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is
also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person.
If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in
hand.

7. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to
escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and
single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not
fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything,
marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and
your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single.
You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.

8. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too
quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully
honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to
cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good
decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if
a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure
you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to
worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual
incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

9. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what
a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs (Men are
from Mars...Women are from Venus!) and more often than not, it is the
man who just doesn't get it. The unique need of a woman is to be loved,
to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life.
The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. Sexual
intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented
especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed
out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented.
When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented,
he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets
about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing
things will happen.

10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a
triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent
on someone or something else while trying to develop a relationship.
But of course, being "triangulated" with God is the best triangulation
you could have with your partner! A person who hasn't separated from
his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can
also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs,
Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your
partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot
be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one
priority. And that's not basis for a marriage. Ability is what you're
capable of doing.




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Unchanging Love

An excerpt from helpme.com...

Love is a very powerful word. It is that feeling inside that warms every heart. It is what brings people closer together. It is what everyone is searching for. If this love is true, it will live on. William Shakespeare makes this very clear in his Sonnet 116.2 The physical body will decay, but as long as love is loyal and persevering, it will live on forever. To better understand the theme of the poem, I am going to explain it bit by bit. The seamark in line five serves as a guide to passing ships; love serves as a guide to people who are lucky enough to be in it. “Love’s not time’s fool,” in line nine means that love is not fooled by time. Time will march on, things will change, but love stays the same. All of these principles tie into the theme that love is constant and unchanging.

Movies seem to portray this theme very well. In City of Angels, Nicholas Cage has to make a decision. He can choose to stay as a death angel, and live that way forever or he can choose to become mortal, but never be able to become a real angel after death. He makes the ultimate sacrifice for love. He chooses to become mortal so that he can be with Meg Ryan. Their love is so strong, that he is willing to do anything for her. That is what love is all about. In the movie Ghost, Patrick Swayze is killed in a mugging. His girlfriend, crushed, does not know how she will be able to live without him. But because he loved her so much, he finds a way to contact her. He does this through Whoopi Goldberg. He wants her to know that even though he is not with her, he still loves her very deeply. This is a perfect example of unchanging love. This illustrates how love, if persevering, can live forever. This universal theme seems to repeat itself through all of time. From Romeo and Juliet, the star-crossed lovers, to Tim and Jill on Home Improvement, it is proven that love lives on. It has been established throughout time that love, when strong, can conquer all.

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Chronic Lie

Hmmmmm!!! Very Interesting.

Got this from Newsdial.com

What is a Chronic Lie, Pathological Liar, and the Effects?
By Joe Tracy, Publisher of NEWSdial.com

Lying is a major social issue that destroys relationships, friendships, businesses, stock value, and even starts wars.

On a personal level, lies destroy trust, relationships, and friendships. So why do people lie? And how does a chronic lie differ from a non-chronic lie? How do you identify a pathological liar? What can be done about this? How big, exactly, is the problem?

According to a study in a 1996 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, titled “Lying in Everyday Life,” it was found that college students lie on average of two times a day while the general public usually lies once a day.

Basically, a chronic lie is a lie that is built upon a lie. Many times a person will make a lie “bigger and bigger” by building upon a lie (even when caught). This is a chronic lie. A chronic liar (or pathological liar) is a person who can’t stop lying. They usually tell more lies than truths.

There is much debate as to whether pathological (or chronic) lying is a disease (mental illness), learned behavior, addiction, impulse behavior, symptom of something deeper or a mix of several factors.

“ Lying is common, and in its many aspects forms a normal part of social interchange,” writes Don Grubin, MD, in an article titled “Commentary: Getting at the Truth about Pathological Lying” that was published in the 2005 Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry. “…Clearly, to be a pathological liar, an individual must lie on more than a few occasions, but how frequent does the behavior have to be? Is the scale of the lie really important, or does this just make the pathological liar easier to spot? And why is it relevant that the lies seem pointless? From a psychiatric point of view, lying is simply a type of behavior, albeit a complex one, that demands an appreciation of the abstract concept of truth. What makes a behavior psychiatrically abnormal is not its degree or its purpose, but the extent to which the individual has power over it. The fact that a behavior may cause the individual more harm than good and that there does not seem to be a rational reason for it may be indicators of psychiatric morbidity, but neither is necessary or sufficient to establish a disorder. What these indicators suggest, however, is an apparent lack of control. For pathological lying to exist, therefore, the individual must lie despite himself, just as someone with an anxiety disorder cannot help feeling anxious.”

So what do you do as a parent if you are concerned about your child’s lies? In an article by Michael G. Conner. Psy.D., titled “The Heart of Anxiety, Panic, Phobias, & Lying” he states the following:

“Understanding the relationship between fear and lying is one of the best ways to deal with children if they start lying. Children lie because they are afraid to tell the truth or face the truth. Children who lie have usually had experiences where they subsequently learned that telling the truth is more uncomfortable than lying. Most of the time children first learn to lie by watching their friends, family or strangers lie.”

In essence, children need to be praised for telling the truth. The punishment of lying needs to be greater than the punishment for being honest. Kids are like dogs; they love praise. Provide positive feedback and support when a child tells the truth; even if that truth gets them into trouble. Be sure to separate the punishment from the praise. You don’t want a child associating both as one!

It’s very important that you try to curb lying in your child as soon as possible. If your child’s lying tendencies become chronic then punishment may be ineffective and counseling may be the only “solution”.

Now that may sound good to you, but how (besides praising a child) can you get them to stop lying? When you train a dog, you work with them on a particular “trick” over and over and over until that trick becomes a routine. Likewise, you must work on the concept of honesty with a child over and over until being honest becomes routine for that child.

For example, why not role-play with a child? Children love to act and role-play, so create a series of role-playing “edugames” that teaches a child the importance of telling the truth. Give them a situation and have them practice telling the truth. “You just broke mommy’s prize vase and you know she’ll be upset. You could blame the dog, but you know that being honest is what is right. So how would you tell her?” Then have the child act it out.

When lying becomes a routine, a person becomes a pathological liar. Lying is so instilled in that person that they can mumble off a lie without a second thought. When confronted with one lie they, without a moment’s hesitation, lie more to “cover up” the original lie (making it a chronic lie). Many times, a pathological liar may believe his or her own lies! When a person reaches the level of pathological liar, usually only counseling can “cure” them. There’s no magic herb for lying – only counseling to determine the issue and address the solution.

Unfortunately, there is not enough research into chronic lying to fully understand it (what causes it, at least, as we all know the effects). Perhaps the January 3, 2003 issue of Psychiatric News sums it up best when author Ken Hausman stated, “Pathological lying has rarely appeared on the psychiatric radar screen in recent years, remaining a poorly understood concept with serious ramifications.”

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Unfair reason?

Katatapos ko lang manood ng "The Heartbreak Kid", imbes na matuwa ako. asar na asar ako sa character ni Ben Stiller...

Bigyan ko lang kayo ng konting summary ng movie (from wikipedia:

Eddie (Ben Stiller), the owner of a sports shop, is single and indecisive about starting a relationship. While walking down the street he witnesses a purse snatcher victimizing Lila (Malin Åkerman). After failing to retrieve the purse, they exchange pleasantries and eventually date. They quickly become serious, as they seem perfect for each other. Pushed by the urging of his father (Jerry Stiller) and best friend (Rob Corddry), Eddie proposes to Lila and they are married. However, during their honeymoon in Mexico Eddie begins to question his decision, as it becomes increasingly apparent how mismatched the couple is: while driving down to Mexico, Lila continuously sings songs while listening to a blasting radio, much to the irritation of Eddie. When he asks her to stop, she abruptly suggests that they "fuck". In the scene that follows, Lila and Eddy have sex so violently it actually causes Eddy physical pain. Then the following morning she insists they hold hands during breakfast. And so on and so forth. After suntanning with only "baby oil" (ignoring Eddie's advice to wear sunscreen) Lila is severely burned and has to stay in the hotel room for several days. Eddie has the opportunity to spend some time alone and reflect on the marriage while Lila is confined to the room.

As he realizes the mistake he has made, Eddie meets Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), another vacationer, at a bar. It's almost immediately obvious that Eddie and Miranda are a perfect match. With Lila in the room, Eddie devotes large amounts of his honeymoon time to Miranda. When Lila confronts Eddie about his absences he makes up a story about a potentially huge business investor he is trying to butter up. Faced with the overwhelming schism between Lila and him, and the obviously perfect match between Miranda and him, Eddie decides to break up with Lila. In the chaos surrounding his breakup with Lila, the entire situation becomes apparent to both her and Miranda. Both abandon him, and his passport is destroyed in the mayhem.

Without a passport, Eddie is forced to cross the U.S. border illegally. In several scenes, Eddie is caught by border patrol officers while others escape by the hundreds. After an extensive effort to get into the country he goes to Oxford, MS and finds Miranda. He sneaks into her house late at night and offers her an ultimatum: marry him, or turn down true love. Unfortunately, she has since married, and he is rejected.

A year and a half later, Eddie has moved to Mexico. Miranda comes down on vacation, informing him that she made a mistake and wants to be with him. It is then revealed that Eddie has a new wife, Consuela (Eva Longoria), and he is once again thrust into the situation he was previously in.

Ok sabihin na natin medyo may diperensya ang character ni Lila, pero it doens't mean na meron reason si Eddie na maghanap ng iba... on the time of their honeymoon? And gosh, Eddie had known Lila for 6 weeks yet madami pa rin syang nadiscover, and how about Miranda? Only for a week?? How sure si Eddie na true love nya si Miranda? How sure si Eddie na magiging maganda ang pagsasama nila? How sure si Eddie na perfect ang qualities ni Miranda?

Isa pang napansin ko sa character ni Eddie, umabot sya ng 40 years old because takot sya sa commitment, every girl na naging kanya is may reklamo sya. After Lila, nagkaron ulit sya ng new found wife na si Eva, and he's confused na naman dahil bumabalik si Miranda? Hindi kaya si Eddie ang may diperensa at hindi si Lila????

Isa pang kinaiinisan ko.... while nakakulong si Lila sa room nya dahil sa sunburn, ang daming rason ni Eddie, na kesyo may nagbar sya kesyo may client.. which is hindi naman totoo dahil nakikipagkita lang naman sya kay Miranda, GRRRRRRR!!!!!

Hindi lang ito ang movie na asar na asar ako.. another one is "My Super Ex-Girlfriend". If I remember correctly, kaya inayawan ni Luke Wilson ang character ni Uma Thurman dahil hindi sya makacope up sa super power abilities ni Uma which is alibi lang naman dahil ang totoo is in love na sya sa character ni Anna Faris. E bakit nung naging superwoman na rin si Anna Faris hindi yon naging issue kay Luke Wilson... tama ba yon?????????????


Bottomline: Based sa mga movie na napanood ko... Men tend to make issues kapag ayaw na nila sa isang babae, kesyo nagiging control freak na, makulit, possesive, nagger etc etc yet hindi naman talaga yon ang totoo issue, they just want their way out to find another woman. If they really love the woman di ba gagawin nila ang lahat para magkaayos? Hindi yun magpapalit sila ng babae and the same problem will happen over and over again.

At saka if they do not love the woman anymore, just say it, hindi yun isisisi nila sa babae at heto naman babae magiging masama ang loob dahil sya ang may kasalanan ng lahat.... Men!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!




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Stupid things...

Sometimes we wish for the better
When we have it good as it gets
Sometimes the grass isn't greener
Sometimes we find out we forget
Sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really don't mean it all

Sometimes a man
Is gon' be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do
Oh so sorry, oh no, oh so sorry

Sometimes I wish I was smarter
Wish I was a bit more like you
Not making stupid decisions made at the last minute
You live to regret when it's through

Well, sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
And sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it all

Sometimes a man
Is gon' be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Can't always be strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do

Sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it at all, at all

Sometimes a man
Is gon' be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do


Now playing : Babyface - Sorry For The Stupid Things.mp3
Get your own mp3 player @ mp3charm.com
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Why do men always cheat?

I got this from Ask Dan and Jennifer


Ladies, you know in your heart if your man is cheating on you. You can feel it…

Maybe you’ve suspected for a while that things aren’t quite right in your relationship and you’re worried that maybe he’s stepping out on you, but you just can’t put your finger on exactly what’s bugging you.

Well, here are some concrete signs to watch out for if you think he may be unfaithful…

Top 10 Signs of a Cheating Man

From http://www.WomanSavers.com

A cheating man can only hide his cheating ways for so long before he gets caught. The longer a man cheats, the higher probability he will get caught. In this busy day and age, it is difficult to carry on more than one relationship. However, with inventions like the internet, accessibility to willing partners has become easier than ever. There are various ways of how to tell if your man is cheating. We have listed the top 10 signs of a cheating man below. How to know if your man is cheating? If your man exhibits any of the below, it may be time to take a closer look.

1. Spends less time with you.

A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.

2. Isn’t as affectionate any more.

Your sex life in almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.


3. He changes his physical appearance.

A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.

4. Car changes.

The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.

5. Change in temperament.

A cheating man becomes more short-tempered because of the guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them

6. A new fragrance.

A cheating man may smell of perfume, smoke or alcohol, especially if he hasn’t had time to change them from meeting with her.

7. Behavioral changes.

A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.

8. Cell phone changes.

A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.

9. Computer usage changes.

A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.

10. Changes in spending habits.

You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bills or stubs that you may have access to.

Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.


Another one...

Cheating can also be from incredibly low self esteem, little self worth, an emotional problem, untreated adult ADHD/ADD, substance abuse problems, maybe dad cheated too, maybe mom cheated, maybe the cheater is simply a person wihtout much of a conscience or a really great liar who will forever lie about important things to anyone's face.

There are decent men out there (and women) who understand what integrity, dignity, and self respect are. Sure, they do not come a dime a dozen, but that's why people should be very choosey, not rush into anything, not ignore warning signs or little red flags going up in their head through the dating process, etc.

The first time you even SUSPECT you have a liar or that you found out you have a liar, you can give the benefit of the doubt. The second lie, ok, maybe I missed something, but picking up on the third bold face lie? Time to go no matter how much you love that person. NO matter how great the sexual chemistry is. No matter how much they make in income, no matter how far along the pregnancy, etc.. Once you know what is going on, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It is time to grow up, face reality, and get the hell away from screwed up filth that know how to cry and talk their way out of a paper bag.


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Happy happy Valentine

Better than late than never...


I thought this year would be another "Valentine Nightmare" for me... not until Annie texted that she has something for me from Jess.

Though its already Feb 15, I'm still happy that I got a gift from hon.

Happy Valentine's Day Honey. I love you!

Anniversary Blues

After a looooonnnnggggg year of storm (yup! last year was the worst one for us), finally, Honey and I had our 2nd year anniversary last Saturday (May 5). As expected, we did not have the chance to celebrate it together (as usual, work and school prio).

My original plan was to send him a scrapbook, unfortumately, I didnt have the time to do it though I already thought of the concept and even bought the materials as early as April. Since time is running short I need to think of plan B.

May 1. I texted Erol (Hon's bestfriend) to help me with my surprise plan, however, due to "some" reasons which I don't know, I never get a reply from him(hmmm something fishy in here). On May 3, I had a chat with Madir Leonor if she can help me with the stuff. She said "akong bahala dyan!", so I send the money through Gcash as well as the delivery address and message. Madir you're my angel!!!!

On friday night (May 4), Annie texted me that Niña (Hon's older sis) will be coming along with her. Yup! we planned to watch spiderman 3 on Saturday with my brother Mervin. Niña and Annie? Hmmmm, this will be a perfect time for bonding heheheheh!!!!

May 5, 12:00 am, Hon texted me with "Happy Anniversary Honey ko, I love you so much!", and I replied hon. After 5 mins my alarm rang with a message "Jessie, 2". I kissed Justin and greet happy birthday and went back to sleep.

May 5, 10 am, Hon texted me with "Nareceive ko na yun flowers! Ang ganda!!! Mwah". Hehehehe, that was my surprise. Courtesy of Madir Leonor, we sent Hon a dozen of white roses with blue balloons. Luckily, antipaktita wasn't in the office that time, for sure, she'll gonna get the flowers.. Ooopsss sorry antipaktita those flowers are for Mama myr... not for you... (shrug)

May 5, 4pm, I met up with Niña and Annie (Hon's sisters) at Glorietta 4. Ooooooh! super dami tao, we manage to buy tickets for 6pm show. Since it's still 5pm, we went to some appliance and furniture centers.

The movie was ok, except that it's konting nakakabitin sa ending (hey what do you expect in a film having 3 plots! Aside from the fact that its the end of the Spiderman trilogy). After watching, we went to Food Choices and ate at Dencio's.

The following day, I bought my MP4 player. That was Hon's gift for me hehehehehe.... no element of surprise huh!!! In fairness to hon, I really want an MP4 player, unfortunately, MP4s in Legazpi are quite expensive and konti lang ang choices. So we decided na dito na lang sa Manila bumili since its cheaper and maraming choices...Any way.. bottomline is its still a gift from my Honey and I love it!!!

Well... what do I expect for our 3rd year? Hmmm... I wish, no more problems that will force us decide on something that we'll regret forever.....

As of now, Im already collating infos for our "great day", knowing me na gusto organized lahat, I really want to plan as early as possible para magkasya din sa budget and walang maiwan na small details.

And of course... save save save... :)


Happy Anniversary Honey. I love you so much!!