Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Usapang tsismis

Likas na sa tao ang pagiging tsismoso o tsismosa. Makakasagap ka nito sa mga inuman, sleep over, pantries, CR, o minsan sa workstation mismo. Minsan masasabi pa ngang "In" ka kapag updated ka sa mga latest chismis in town.

Dun sa dati kong pinatatrabahuhan, masasabi ko sa isa ako sa mga huling nakakasagap ng tsismis. Minsan alam na ng lahat, ako hindi pa. Kung di pa me maawa or me madulas magsabi, di ko pa nalalaman.. bakit kaya? Ito ba eh dahil ako ang madalas nilang pag usapan? Tumpak!!! Isa ako sa mga pulutan ng tao doon. Feeling ko nga star ako, ala Kris Aquino nyahahaha!!! Kaya pag alis ko don, para akong nabunutan ng tinik.. hay salamat.. nagkaron ng privacy ang buhay ko.

Paglipat ko dito, medyo nag improve ang radar ko. Di na ako nahuhuli sa balita (syempre, di na ako ang pinag uusapan eh!).. minsan nakakacomment ako, pero di naman madalas lalo na kung wala naman kinalaman sa trabaho ko.

Maraming klase ng pagiging tsismosa.. meron mga taong kapag me gustong iconfirm sa iyo.. sasabihin ay "Oi sister, me nabalitaan ako... totoo bang..." pero ang totoo, sila ang may gustong malaman, kunwari lang yun term na "Me Nabalitaan".. asahan mo bukas, nakabroadcast na ang sinabi mo.

Meron naman taong ang kapag kinakausap mo, tatandaan ang sasabihin mo. Kapag iba na ang kausap nila at natyempong ang topic ay gaya ng napag usapan nyo... Bigla nyang mababanggit na "sabi nga ni (pangalan mo).. ganito ganyan ganyan".. Sapol!!! Ayun at naquote ka na.

Anyway, me nabasa akong article tungkol sa mga klase ng tsismis.. heto po...

There are three kinds of friendly gossip.

First, the "please-don't-tell-anyone-the-secret-I'm-not-supposed-to-tell" gossip. "Please-don't-tell" gossip enables the blabbermouth to be the first to broadcast interesting good news or bad news. Women who reveal secrets feel a need to let everyone know they know something you don't know. As children, you learn the importance of being a confidante. Being immature, children often run around the playground saying, "I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!" Adults play the same game in a more "sophisticated" manner. "Please-don't-tell" gossip is a means to an end. The person telling doesn't necessarily care if the listener knows the news; more importantly, she wants the listener to know that she knew first. Playing the "I know something you don't know" game breeds curiosity. Curiosity is the desired emotion the gossip expects. She has won the game.

The second kind of friendly gossip is the "It's For Her Own Good" gossip. "Own Good" gossip is camouflaged gossip. This type of gossip takes on the disguise of charity. For example, "I know that I shouldn't be saying this about Lisa, but it's true. She isn't a good mother. As a group, we should exemplify how good mothers act. Hopefully, she will catch on." The gossips then continue to talk about the terrible mother that Lisa is. They, on the other hand, are fabulous mother role models. "Own Good" gossip isn't really helpful to the victim. Instead, this gossip has a divine mission. The mission of "Own Good" gossip is only for an opportunity to say, "Can you believe her?" or "Did you see what she did?" Many women feel inferior. They look for ways to build themselves up. These women put other women down to build themselves up.

The third kind of gossip is the "I feel Hurt Gossip." "Feel Hurt" gossip gives the slanderer the opportunity to rationalize her gossip because of hurt feelings. Justifying your reason for gossip makes gossip okay. When someone hurts your feelings, you feel a need to let everyone know how rotten you feel. You want to place the blame on the person who hurt you. You want everyone to know how dreadful that person is. A victim of hurt feelings never seems to take responsibility for reacting. Instead, the "hurter" is responsible for the "hurtee's" feelings. "Feel Hurt" gossip is almost always directed toward a close friend. Unfortunately, the closer you are to someone, the more vulnerable you are. Feelings become tender between dear friends. This type of gossip is the most damaging. Close friendships break up over "Feel Hurt" gossip.


Nung time na hinahunting ko kung sino ang mga chismosa sa amin, sinubukan kong gawin ang #3....hinanap ko ang potential suspect sa dating opisina namin.. kunwari eh naglabas ako ng sama ng loob tungkol sa isang kaopismate.. Presto, pagkaraan ng 2 araw.. Kumalat na..Sa ngayon, alam ko na kung sino ang 2 Kilabot ng Chismis doon hehehe!


Kung meron kayong nalalaman na scoop at gusto nyong ipamahagi yon..Bago magkalat ng impormasyon, basahin muna ang mga sumusunod na guidelines...


1. Never spread un-substantiated rumors.

2. Try to ask the question "Will this information help or hurt the listener and the person being discussed? Will this lead to compassion and understanding?"

3. Is what I am about to say something that could really damage someone's reputation?

4. Is it possible for me to directly confront the person who is the subject of the gossip instead of telling other people?

5. What is my motivation for telling this? Is it spite? Is it to build myself up? Is there another way I can achieve the same thing without gossiping about somebody else?

6. Am I simply "venting"? Can I "vent" by using "I" statements instead? (Like "I am really angry with Ezmerelda. What she did makes me feel taken advantage of" instead of "She is a troublemaker. Last week she did something even worse to poor Helen")

7. Would I feel comfortable with what I am saying if the person I am gossiping about finds out?


Kapag lumalabas na makakasakit ka ng kapwa mo sa ilalabas mong impormasyon, mas nakakabuting itago mo na lang.. O kaya, sabihin mo mismo sa taong concern kesa ipagkalat sa ibang tao na wala naman kinalaman sa buhay nya...

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